Mountain Call and Mountain Response
by Maxwell Joslyn. (updated
After reading "A Gift from "Endlessly Stupid" to a New Hermit", Chris Stasse responded with a poem of his own, "Hermit Replies to Stupid" 《傻隐回复》.
鸟啼更静躺山夜
生人不约往孤野
车冷人寂思萦纡
离家一日似十月
Rough translation, 2020-11-21:
At night I lie in the mountains. It's quieter when birds sing
Strangers aren't likely to approach this lonely wilderness
My car is cold. I'm lonely. My thoughts twist around
One day away from home is like ten months
Naturally, I wanted to reply in kind. My goal was to show I had grokked Chris's poem by restating its sentiments in different words.
In addition, I challenged myself to work within the constraints of a line-internal rhyme scheme: the 2nd, 4th, and 7th (final) syllables of each line all share an ending sound.
I think it turned out rather well. Judge for yourself:
天冷思尨鸣静更 山边无人紫河显 人寂处僻情迪逆 离家别爸微害怕
(For those who read Chinese, 尨 is here pronounced meng2, not mang2 as you might expect: the former is an archaic reading meaning "jumbled.")
Rough translation, 2021-01-11:
The skies are cold. His thoughts are jumbled. Bird calls alternate with silence
Above the mountains, the Milky Way reveals itself to no one
In this remote place, he is lonely. His emotions thrash forward and back
Goodbye to home, farewell to Dad -- and, now, a touch of fear