The Thoughts of Painted People

I've invented a new exercise to work on my ability to imagine what each and every NPC in a D&D setting might be thinking, and to strengthen my powers of description.

Here we have Pieter Meulener's painting Sack of a Flemish Village by Spanish Soldiers, painted circa 1654. (Sorry the quality isn't great when zoomed in; it's the best version I could find.)

Now, look at these closeups, where I've labeled several people with numbers. In this post, I've imagined snippets of those characters' thoughts, speech, and/or actions, which befit the events of this painting, and the battle that preceded them.

1. Holbrecht the Sorceror

I can only guess at what purpose these Spanish villains have for me. But they have taken me alive, and God be praised for that. I daresay I am the only Flemish soul left in all of Kruisbladeren.

For fear of my spells, they have tied my wrists, and soon they will surely gag me. Yet they are reluctant to touch me. The one at my right, smelling of beer and sweat, prods me with a spear now and again, but I can tell the fight is mostly gone from him -- see how he sags in place, see how his face droops. There are too many Spaniards for me to escape, and even if my hands were free, I'd have no chance to invoke a spell. But if Droopy were the only one guarding me, I would take my chances at kicking him down and beginning to cast.

Teleport is the ideal choice, but too slow. Hold Person, then, or another charm to keep Droopy on the floor, and then Teleport... But this is idle wishing. Perhaps I can reason with the one in blue; he is giving me a sympathetic eye -- whereas the man behind me is so cowardly he will not even meet my gaze.

2. Captain Emilio

"Prisoner, hear this well: we are under no misapprehension as to the extent of your magical powers. You will be bound and gagged, and will remain bound and gagged for the duration of our return to Camp Reyes. You will be furthermore be guarded by half a dozen soldiers and a padre at all times. You will be slain instantly should you try to escape. At Camp Reyes you are to be sworn into the service of His Majesty's Army of Flanders and attached to the company of the most illustrious Lord Nacio Veracruz y Giraldez."

Captain Emilio raises his eyes from the parchment bearing his orders. He meets the gaze of Jimenez, one of his more intelligent soldiers. "Jimenez, you are in charge of this wizard. Gag him. Pick five men to accompany you, then report to Padre Florencio's tent by the windmill."

3. Jimenez

Jimenez touches his hat in salute. He gives the sorcerer the tiniest of apologetic glances. The sorcerer shrugs, and slowly opens his mouth for the gag.

4. Nacho

I raise the trumpet to my lips and blow the signal for all men to regroup. Castamere, my brother in arms, gazes out over the town.

"Kruisbladeren means 'crossed leaves,'" he says to me, as I lower the trumpet. "A melodious and auspicious name. It's a shame to leave such a pretty place behind. When we've cleared out all the bodies, it would be a fine base of operations. Far finer than that dump at Reyes."

I can't say I agree. The houses are narrow and ugly. But that big tree looks like a nice place to rest, at least. I am suddenly very tired. I didn't take so much as a scratch in the action today, thank the Lord, but the excitement of battle has heard my blast, and, cross with me, it leaves my bones in an instant.

5. Obdulio Terrero

"You hear that trumpet? I told you we'd be falling in soon and we ought to get back. Lord, these are fine horses we've got now. I know, I was raised for a horse trader. Didn't suit my dad one bit when I enlisted instead. This gray one you have here, Romeo, that's the finest of the lot. We'll give him to the captain and he'll reward us for sure. Didn't I tell you we shouldn't fire the stables? Nobody even came out for the horses anyway. Stupid Dutchmen don't know what they've got as usual. I've half a mind to request the chestnut for myself. If Sergio doesn't need a fresh horse he'll let me have her, I'm sure of it. See how white her boots are, and the blaze on her face!"

6. Darion the Marksman

It wasn't much of a battle. I took seven lives. I wish I got twice as many. The little boy and the nun were the easiest. The bald farmer with the scythe was the hardest. He was good at ducking. But farmers are stupid. When he ducked he came up in the same spot, every time. He wasn't using his brains anyway; he won't mind that I showered them all over the ground.

Miguel owes me his life for killing that idiot, but I'd settle for owing me a bag of wine. It's theonly way I can take another month of Obdulio's prating. I want to turn around right now, stuff my rifle in that lousy horse's mouth and pull the trigger. I want to see Obdulio shit his pants and cry. I'd pay 20 reals for the chance.

7. Julio

"Look, boys! A sack of silver pennies. I've got more money than the whole fucking army!"

8. Sergeant Bruno Lopez

"You will not be killed, Doña Vermeulen. You are worth more alive than dead. Tell me where your family lives, if they yet live. If they send your ransom, you and your sister will soon see them again."

9. Jonkvrouw Mathilde Vermeulen

Animals, that's what they are. No, they are worse than animals. A bear or a dog can be tamed. Not so a Papist. He will rape and plunder his way to the end of God's earth and back if Italy wills it.

They have taken everything from me, and they have treated me like common trash. I, a noble lady, a jonkvrouw in my own right. Markus, my dear Markus, is dead. Goedele is dead. Katelijne is dead. Of Jaak I know not, but as a man he is either dead now or will be. They are the lucky ones; they have met God. Only Emerencia and I are left.

They will have no ransom. They will not have me, either. I know what happened at Naarden. As soon as this brute turns his back, I will have the bodkin from my sleeve --

What am I saying? I cannot. I would burn for all eternity. Lord, please forgive me for even considering taking my own life. Perhaps I can spare Emerencia. My poor sister will do as I bid. I can suggest that they let her be the messenger to our family in Arnholt. They won't do it ... but I must ask anyway.