A Tale of Thirty Years

Once upon a time, in our Land of Khalifia, there lived a King and his Archmage.

Seeing that their birthdays were close together, the Archmage proposed a shared celebratory festival, reasoning that guests would be more grateful for one spectacular event than two lesser ones. The King agreed at once. After consulting the almanac for auspicious days, they fixed the date of the festival for the 24th of August, and invited noblemen, dignitaries, and a few select members of the landed gentry to eat, drink, and be merry.

The King had only recently ascended to his throne, and still needed to assemble a trustworthy Privy Council to guide him. To the surprise of both King and Archmage, the King's fool, having overheard the conversation, spoke up.

The fool proposed that during the festival, the King and Archmage observe the character of each guest, and appoint the worthiest to positions on the Council. This they resolved to do, and the King handsomely rewarded the fool with a fistful of coins, which he took for candies and promptly tried to eat.

The Festival Begins

The day of the festival was blessed by mild weather. In the evening, the royal hounds were locked away, lest they snarl at the company or guzzle food.

At half-past seven, the guests began to arrive. The attendees were many and diverse, and included not only the nobles and gentry of Khalifia, but also a young knight with his two wards, and even a pair of unusually tall hobbits.

The Archmage knew that many of the guests were, like the King, recently raised to their stations. He predicted (correctly) that many of them would not yet possess badges or tabards displaying their noble coats of arms. Therefore, being learned in the science of heraldry, the Archmage prepared a diversion both amusing and practical: a tableau of parts with which the guests might assemble temporary representations of their arms or other identifying devices.

The royal pantlers had worked long days and nights to prepare a feast befitting the occasion. At the commencement of the festivities, they presented the meal: huge carrots, crusty bread, cured meats, delicate cheeses, fruit jellies, a vegetable pie, and numerous racks of lamb.

Upon seeing the spread, the King and the Archmage were greatly pleased. They realized they could trust the King's pantlers completely, and that they were loyal beyond measure. Accordingly, before the great meal began, both of the pantlers were elevated to the status of Royal Cupbearers, jointly filling the first of the needful positions for the Privy Council.

All those present hailed to the King, then ate, drank, and conversed with gusto.

Revelry

Though benevolent at heart, the King was more than ready to enforce order, even during a joyous occasion. Several of the guests found themselves confined to the pillory for minor offenses, though, in light of the circumstances, his Royal Highness was generous enough to impose sentences of only a few minutes.

Even one of the pantlers, so recently rewarded for his loyalty, found himself punished in this manner. A lowly chandler was subsequently imprisoned for antagonizing the poor pantler.

Strangely enough, after those wrongdoers were freed, other festival guests began to request that they be placed in the pillory, possibly to curry Kingly favor by showing their willingness to be defenseless in his presence. Even the King's consort and the Archmage wanted to demonstrate their loyalty in this fashion. The King was happy to indulge these requests, and showed his magnanimity by joining in.

Midway through the festivities, the aforementioned young knight showed great skill in a mock joust with the King. So expert was his bladework that the King deigned to let him try on the royal crown, before promptly pronouncing him the Privy Council's Grandmaster.

Late in the evening, just as festivities were to move indoors against the night chill, a hideous green dragon flew out of the forest to menace all present.

The Archmage dared not cast his spell of Conflagration, lest he burn down the forest, so the King's subjects took up arms against the beast. In the end, the knavish candlemaker demonstrated astonishing puissance, and struck the killing blow. The King, having seen the chandler's true nature, was so grateful that he elevated the man to the position of High Constable.

Other records and documents from this period confirm that a fourth member of the Privy Council was created that night, but my researches have not yet discovered what title that esteemed person was given.

All in all, the Feast of the Two Birthdays, as the event is now popularly known, was certainly one of the most joyous occasions ever experienced in Khalifia, and among the grandest festivals ever to honor one of our excellent Kings or our learned Archmages.